10 Random Poker Quotes

• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• "I could make a crazy call on you..." Sammy Farhah to Chris Moneymaker at the final table when Moneymaker went all in.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"