10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."