10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen