10 Random Poker Quotes

• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT