10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they know what they are doing, but only a few are actually good at it.- "Dutch" Boyd
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• The greatest feeling is when you've broken your opponent's spirit & crushed his confidence. The fact that you've taken both his bankroll & the shirt off his back is just a bonus. Tom V. (Livonia, Michigan)
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "If i dont make that final table, nobody's gonna remember me next year. If i do make that final table, Im a poker legend overnight" - Dutch Boyd 2003 WSOP Main Event
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.