10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger
• Never educate a stupid poker player.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from