10 Random Poker Quotes

• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.