10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• "What've you got, Layne?" "You BEAT." Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. $ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day 2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.