10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Those eggs smell delicious!
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• "I guess there's nothing left but all in." -Greg Raymer
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.