10 Random Poker Quotes

• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• "I dont mind getting beaten by a good player, and I dont even mind getting beaten by a bad player, but I cant stand getting beaten by a bad player who thinks he is good." H.L.B. Tunica, MS
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• "I had 2 high." -Sammy Farha
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris