10 Random Poker Quotes

• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• "No river, no fish."
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus