10 Random Poker Quotes

• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.