10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Ive always like the quote, "Who needs balls when you got the nuts!!!"
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet