10 Random Poker Quotes

• Those eggs smell delicious!
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson