10 Random Poker Quotes

• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• "Not all trappers wear 'coon-skin hats."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05