10 Random Poker Quotes

• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• when you win its got to make a difference when you lose its got to hurt.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?