10 Random Poker Quotes

• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• I don't want to be called a good loser. A good loser is still a loser. -Stu Unger
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.