10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• When you win... Rub it in!!! When you lose.. Drink the booze!!!!! Los Altos Dirt Bikers
• Never educate a stupid poker player.
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.