10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• "I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the f---kin' rake." - Worm (Rounders, 1998)
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph