10 Random Poker Quotes

• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.