10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water