10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "I could make a crazy call on you..." Sammy Farhah to Chris Moneymaker at the final table when Moneymaker went all in.
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers