10 Random Poker Quotes

• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Fook the floosh droo!
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."