10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• "If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask the man whos on the way back" anon
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.