10 Random Poker Quotes

• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Those eggs smell delicious!
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain