10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• I don't want to be called a good loser. A good loser is still a loser. -Stu Unger
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed