10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• "Never go broke in an unraised pot" -T.J. Cloutier
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."