10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine. - T.J. Cloutier, Championship Omaha
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear