10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear