10 Random Poker Quotes

• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." --Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• I'm just looking for a way to get outa here.... --------Doyle Brunson, goes all-in WSOP2003
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.