10 Random Poker Quotes

• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)