10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• when you win its got to make a difference when you lose its got to hurt.
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.