10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.