10 Random Poker Quotes

• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."