10 Random Poker Quotes

• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• when you win its got to make a difference when you lose its got to hurt.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.