10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• "I had 2 high." -Sammy Farha
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "I dont mind getting beaten by a good player, and I dont even mind getting beaten by a bad player, but I cant stand getting beaten by a bad player who thinks he is good." H.L.B. Tunica, MS
• "What've you got, Layne?" "You BEAT." Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. $ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day 2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester