10 Random Poker Quotes

• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• The next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing. --Nick the Greek
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."