10 Random Poker Quotes

• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs