10 Random Poker Quotes

• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• if u play for the thrill u are ill
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth