10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• it is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time: you can even fool some of the people all the time: but you can't fool al of the peole all the time. -Abraham Lincoln
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.