10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."