10 Random Poker Quotes

• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]