10 Random Poker Quotes

• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."