10 Random Poker Quotes

• You have to piss with the dick you have
• I suck, therefore I suck out. North Shore Mike
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.