10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.