10 Random Poker Quotes

• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.