10 Random Poker Quotes

• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.