10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs