10 Random Poker Quotes

• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• It's Free To Fold...
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Fook the floosh droo!
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus