10 Random Poker Quotes

• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• "No river, no fish."
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.